Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
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