Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
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