what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
I didn't notice because vodka
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
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