you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
