You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
Randomize
