Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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