wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
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