when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Randomize
