just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
I just googled if crying burns calories
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
Randomize
