We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
then he tried to convert me to islam
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
