Texts From Last Night

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  (630): View more from Illinois

  oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.

  (310): View more from California

  ***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.

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  (630): oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican. (310): ***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated. http://tfl.nu/5wsv
  Replies (12) Good night (616) Bad night (914)
• Favorite

  (252): View more from North Carolina

  I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck

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  (252): I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck http://tfl.nu/v85x
  Replies (15) Good night (2364) Bad night (666)
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  (804): View more from Virginia

  she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.

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  (804): she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs. http://tfl.nu/jax9
  Replies (34) Good night (5060) Bad night (6390)
• Favorite

  (574): View more from Indiana

  all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?

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  (574): all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him? http://tfl.nu/x011
  Replies (8) Good night (855) Bad night (3633)
• Favorite

  (313): View more from Michigan

  tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve

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  (313): tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve http://tfl.nu/02r5
  Replies (12) Good night (3773) Bad night (950)
• Favorite

  (614): View more from Ohio

  I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.

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  (614): I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out. http://tfl.nu/60nc
  Replies (12) Good night (1391) Bad night (4405)
• Favorite

  (423): View more from Tennessee

  I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple

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  (423): I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple http://tfl.nu/2rws
  Replies (11) Good night (1917) Bad night (933)
• Favorite

  (443): View more from Maryland

  There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.

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  (443): There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse. http://tfl.nu/gbkz
  Replies (3) Good night (706) Bad night (1734)
• Favorite

  (778): View more from British Columbia

  i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.

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  (778): i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card. http://tfl.nu/h3qh
  Replies (3) Good night (1129) Bad night (956)
• Favorite

  (651): View more from Minnesota

  We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.

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  (651): We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom. http://tfl.nu/dyyq
  Replies (3) Good night (2428) Bad night (569)
• Favorite

  (217): View more from Illinois

  I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina

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  (217): I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina http://tfl.nu/lruw
  Replies (8) Good night (1393) Bad night (630)
• Favorite

  (423): View more from Tennessee

  Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?

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  (423): Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina? http://tfl.nu/kprk
  Replies (5) Good night (1009) Bad night (506)
• Favorite

  (614): View more from Ohio

  This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.

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  (614): This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato. http://tfl.nu/wzg8
  Replies (4) Good night (311) Bad night (513)
• Favorite

  (253): View more from Washington

  Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.

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  (253): Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day. http://tfl.nu/ofil
  Replies (4) Good night (255) Bad night (565)
• Favorite

  (415): View more from California

  my vag sweat smells like doritos

  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?

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  (415): my vag sweat smells like doritos (617): so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay? http://tfl.nu/hu1h
  Replies (3) Good night (315) Bad night (796)

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