Texts From Last Night

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  (443): View more from Maryland

  How is it? Sketchville?

  (1-443): View more from Maryland

  cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness

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  (443): How is it? Sketchville? (1-443): cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness http://tfl.nu/p48v
  Replies (4) Good night (1712) Bad night (599)
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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?

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  (617): Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money? http://tfl.nu/6pei
  Replies (12) Good night (2877) Bad night (704)
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  (512): View more from Texas

  You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.

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  (512): You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore. http://tfl.nu/p34m
  Replies (8) Good night (1334) Bad night (3303)
• Favorite

  (662): View more from Mississippi

  They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.

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  (662): They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say. http://tfl.nu/fs2e
  Replies (70) Good night (10547) Bad night (1440)
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  (619): View more from California

  I'm passing your future prison.

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  (619): I'm passing your future prison. http://tfl.nu/j7g6
  Replies (15) Good night (4442) Bad night (1121)
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  (573): View more from Missouri

  The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season

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  (573): The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season http://tfl.nu/ewwq
  Replies (37) Good night (1921) Bad night (9510)
• Favorite

  (310): View more from California

  Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake

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  (310): Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake http://tfl.nu/w9rn
  Replies (8) Good night (2637) Bad night (5653)
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  (706): View more from Georgia

  It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa

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  (706): It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa http://tfl.nu/ahu3
  Replies (7) Good night (2311) Bad night (1292)
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  (317): View more from Indiana

  I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.

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  (317): I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me. http://tfl.nu/xee4
  Replies (8) Good night (2617) Bad night (855)
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  (909): View more from California

  I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..

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  (909): I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise.. http://tfl.nu/c4kh
  Replies (12) Good night (2339) Bad night (1156)
• Favorite

  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative

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  (610): Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative http://tfl.nu/dzmt
  Replies (3) Good night (726) Bad night (616)
• Favorite

  (404): View more from Georgia

  I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.

  (910): View more from North Carolina

  That's what you say about everyone.

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  (404): I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system. (910): That's what you say about everyone. http://tfl.nu/s26k
  Replies (5) Good night (1146) Bad night (408)
• Favorite

  (503): View more from Oregon

  So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?

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  (503): So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you? http://tfl.nu/dh4l
  Replies (3) Good night (751) Bad night (420)
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  (480): View more from Arizona

  I feel like a drive thru vagina

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  (480): I feel like a drive thru vagina http://tfl.nu/a3hg
  Replies (6) Good night (267) Bad night (685)
• Favorite

  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.

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  (617): I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies. http://tfl.nu/z6iw
  Replies (3) Good night (209) Bad night (373)

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