Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Randomize