I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
Randomize
