I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
