just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Randomize
