Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
