He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
