I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
sarcasm needs its own font
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
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