So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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