All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
Randomize
