he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
