if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Randomize
