Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
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