and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
We have so much sex to catch up on
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Randomize
