I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
Couch. On fire.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
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