when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
Randomize
