On Saturday, I sharted on my roommates dog while trying to make it smell my farts. Today I got security clearance to work for one of the most respected and secretive govt agencies in the US
It's the American dream
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
Let's paint friendship bongs
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
Randomize
