I think scott just propositioned me for sex
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
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