How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
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