if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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