sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
We talked him into tasing himself.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
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