dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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