Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Randomize
