Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
Randomize
