Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
Randomize
