I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
