I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Randomize
