apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
I will pee on everything he values.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
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