Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
Randomize
