i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Randomize
