You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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