at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
and you fell through a lawn chair
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
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