come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
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