Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
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