got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
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