I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize
