And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
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