i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Randomize
