So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
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