I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
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