looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
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