I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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