You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
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