Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
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If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
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