yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
