NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
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