I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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