I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Randomize
