Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
