He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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