Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
