R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize
