Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
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