Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Randomize
