You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
Randomize
