i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
In other news, I just burned my penis
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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