why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
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