a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Randomize
